In my previous post, I shared a teeny tiny memoir between me and an ex to illustrate a point.

Someone on Facebook said the ex seemed pretentious to think there would be a wrong answer to her question: “What do YOU see?”

I replied: “Remember, she is not the narrator of the story. He is.”

Someone else tripped up on my use of “he” because she knew the narrator was me.

So why did I say “he”?

If you’re writing memoir, it’s all about you, right? But YOU can mean several things.

YOU the writer
YOU the narrator
YOU the character

YOU the writer are not the same as YOU the character.

YOU the writer have the power to frame your character’s story via YOU the narrator. Characters generally cannot do this.

YOU the narrator could be a character, but it’s usually a higher-level entity below YOU the writer.

YOU the character can also be split into YOU at various life stages.

Who cares, right?

Understanding the nuances of who YOU are in the process of writing memoir opens up possibility and freedom. When you tackle an especially personal subject, the distance you have between your selves can help to create a more powerful story.